Conflict

Today I have been thinking about conflict.  How I handle difficult situations.  How people I admire handle difficult situations.  How some people I know can take any situation and make it difficult.  How some people are adept at avoiding conflict.  Although I think I have become better equipped through my years to handle conflict without always losing my cool, it is the loss of logic and entry of emotion that trips the switch for me every time. I have said so many things in response to hurt and anger that I wished I would have kept to myself.  I almost always regret the words spoken from emotion.  And why?  Not because they are true representations of how I am feeling but because they are hurtful.  I don't like hurting others.  It's something I will have to continue to work on because I would like to let people know how I feel without it hurting them.  Even if they are hurting me.

So that brings me to hurt.  Why is it so hard for me to let go of past hurts.  I have a hard time letting go when the person who has hurt me apologizes and is sincere.  But when someone does not apologize or feel the need to apologize, I hang on to that hurt like it is a prized possession.  That is not a good thing.  That hurt that I hold onto so dearly does nothing but damage me.  It certainly isn't going to hurt the person that I am angry with.  It sets a very bad example for my children to follow.  It causes friction occasionally between myself and other friends.  It obviously affects my ability to be happy.

Conflict is hard.  While I think that there are some people who thrive in conflict, I think that most of us don't.  I will continue to try to learn from my past mistakes to avoid making them over and over again, learn from people I admire who handle conflict with respect and kindness, and try to avoid conflict when possible.  I am also going to work hard at letting go of the hurt.

"Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means."  -- Ronald Reagan